he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
