The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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