where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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