why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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