I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
