In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
