i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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