I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize