they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
It's shark week go big or go home
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
