Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
