All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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