the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
