My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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