OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
