Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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