She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize