I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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