ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Randomize
