At least make sure they are 18
Why
What did we do last night that was yellow?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
