i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
