Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I love you. Go after that dick
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