I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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