Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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