I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize