ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
