forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
