Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
did i walk over a car last night?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
