New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
