i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
