Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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