Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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