I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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