and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
