We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
When did angry sex become our thing?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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