did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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