New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
