I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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