you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
