So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize