best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
