if you like me you must not know who I am
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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