wrigley field is MILF paradise
i already hear my dad disowning me
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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