Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
