I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
