I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize