Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
