Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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