doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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