a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
