so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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