RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
