I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
