it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Randomize
