see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
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She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
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sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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