He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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