I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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