I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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