I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize