I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
my liver is dry heaving
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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