some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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