um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
