I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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