First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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