DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
