I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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