If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
