You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
