just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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