'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
