Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize